By Vivian Todini, Manager of Youth Education and Prevention
You may not think it happens, but it does – far too often. According to Love is Respect, 1 in 3 teens in the U.S. experience some kind of abuse in their romantic relationships, including verbal and emotional abuse. It’s also reported that 43% of teen dating violence cases occur on school grounds.
What do YOUth tell us about why it might be hard to leave a partner who is being abusive?
- “My partner is the only one who really understands or accepts me.”
- “I still love them.”
- “They promised they would change.”
- “My parents don’t know I’m dating.”
- “My parents don’t take my relationship seriously.”
- “We had some good times.”
- “It wasn’t physical abuse.”
- “I’m gay and I’m not out so I can’t tell anyone I’m in an abusive relationship.”
- “They keep telling me they are sorry.”
- “My partner is really popular so no one is going to believe me.”
- “We share friends.”
- “How can I get away from them – we go to the same school.”
- “I’m scared.”
All of these reasons are real for YOUth and adults as to why it can be hard to leave someone who is abusive. But, there is a way out. My Sisters’ Place’s amazing and expert counselors talk – for free – with YOUth and adults to figure out how to leave a relationship safely or how to stay in the relationship safely if someone isn’t ready or can’t leave yet. Our hotline 1-800-298-7233 (SAFE) is free and confidential!
We know that sometimes it’s easy to scroll through posts and think, “Look how happy we are" or "My relationship isn’t so bad.” Here’s a question: What do you do when someone takes your picture? YUP. Everyone “smiles.” Remember, how relationships look on social media isn’t always the reality. Trust yourself. You know when something doesn’t feel right.
While it’s important to understand the reasons it can be hard to leave a relationship, know that it is possible! My Sisters’ Place can help!
Remember, you deserve all the cool, great, and awesome stuff in a relationship. And you have the right to a relationship where you and your partner are equals and where you are respected and feel safe! As one YOUth said after one of our Youth Education and Prevention Workshops, “I learned that it is SUPER WRONG when a partner tries to control you.”
With 1 in 3 students at risk of teen dating violence, we can’t afford to ignore the problem – because that too is SUPER WRONG.